Wednesday, April 28, 2010


The intention of this post is not to condemn people but to encourage them to examine their behavior if they really want to have friends.

People have no friends not because people don't like their faces or they are too quiet; I know people who are quiet and aren't good-looking but others would still include them in their group activities.

People have no friends because of the way they choose to behave.......

1. What's in it for me? We all don't give something for nothing. But some people have the "What's in it for me?" thought at the front of their minds all the time. They don't give anything unless they know that they can get something back immediately. Or they are nasty to everyone but would suddenly turn "nice" when they need something.

As we know, nobody likes being around such people or wants to be friends with them. Friendship usually starts with the question "What can I offer you?" It could just be a smile or holding the door open for someone to start with. It is give and take: giving first before taking.

2. Keeping secrets, being judgmental, gossiping. To build a deep and meaningful relationship with someone, you have to reveal certain private information. I'm not saying you have to reveal everything immediately but withholding certain types of information prevents free and open communication.

If people don't reveal any of their secrets, they will find themselves imprisoned by it. I find that if I share my secrets, my friends would be more willing to share theirs. This brings us closer in understanding and supporting one another. People who won't even tell me what they work as or where they work are big question marks in my mind. Building relationships involves risk.

There's a risk that my friends might use my weakness against me or reveal information about me that I would prefer to keep private. I can't tell everything to everyone. I have to decide the right time and right people. It is often a hit-and-miss. Sadly, there are (judgmental) friends who avoided me after I told them my secrets. But I wouldn't know the outcome till after I've taken the risk.

3. Emocentric and egocentric. Everybody likes to talk about themselves, but emocentric and egocentric people are extreme. They think the world revolves around them. They mock others' achievements and beat people down. What they want are admirers, not friends, to give them attention and boost their ego.

4. Boring mindset. Who wants hang out with someone who says "I'm bored" all the time? But there are people who keep saying that and expect others to want to hang out with them. If I turn my blog into an "I am so bored" blog, nobody's going to return. Actually, you can put #3 and #4 people together and maybe they'll get along just fine.

5. Collecting friends. Collecting Internet friends is the latest craze. Before the Internet was widely used, people collected friends too. People love having friends who "know them" or they love saying that they "know" so-and-so. In my mind, I would ask: You claim to know so-and-so but does he know you? I know some people who have so many friends that they can't even remember their names! How can they call someone their friend if they don't even know their names?! It's ridiculous!

6. Ungratefulness. People with short memories forget what their friends did to help them. Not even a word of thanks.

7. Inability to be happy for someone else. Some people don't have the ability to be happy for
others and celebrate their achievements and life events. A tinge of envy is normal but some people would say something bad or curse others.

8. Unwillingness to invest time and effort. There are people who are always too busy to make time for their friends. If they don't invest time into a relationship, it's unlikely that it would grow.

As the song goes, 'Make new friends but keep the old; one is silver and the other gold'. With their lives, however, it's "one is silver and the other goes".

People just don't bother to show up or make an effort to keep in touch and they say they have no friends. So whose fault is it anyway? Without working on a relationship on a continuous basis friendships are bound to slowly get strangled.

Hope and pray all my friends are in good health, spirit and take me for what I am.

To all my friends: thank you for being here for me and supporting me as always! You all make me feel happy and am less alone in this wonderful world :))

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

A state of mind... which needs change

Poverty is nothing more than a state of lack in relation to your frame of reference. Defining oneself in relation to the possessions one doesn’t have is a self-perpetuating cycle through which one can never be whole.

The problem is that most people don’t have any idea of what they actually want. This lack of wholeness leads to much frustration, which is then fed back into the cycle, continuing forever in this futility.

Most of the time, what a particular person is looking for is something much subtler and harder to define than money. Money only serves as a bad substitute, something which socially conditioned values put front and center for no other reason than the utter inability of coming up with a more creative alternative.

I for one am not at all surprised or displeased at the recent turn the economy has taken. This “crisis” just exposes the fact that a large percentage of people are still stuck going round and round, trying to apply the same solutions to their intangible problems over and over again.

An evidently unsustainable model which was bound to come crashing down eventually.

Only through awareness can this larger problem of humanity be overcome.

This century puts the tools of communication at our disposal in a way which greatly helps this process. As more and more people start finding alternate ways of living, the entire social model of what wealth means is starting to change.

The solution doesn’t lie in donating to poor kids in Africa once in a while and then looking the other way; it lies in fundamentally changing the way society as a whole perceives money.

As soon as the people who are not in direct need start to care more about sharing than having, about giving than receiving, the rest will take care of itself. And in the process, it’s getting easier for those who wish to lend a helping hand to people who are really in need, right now, to do so.

So, even if things are looking bad on the surface, now is a better time than ever for us as a whole to overcome poverty once and for all.

I won’t ask you to run off and donate some cash; just take some time tonight and think deeply about the role money plays in your life, and how your attitude is affecting the collective consciousness of humanity.

That is what will ultimately bring about change for all of us.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

I am hungry..... she said

This is my first attempt at writing a story..... of course the inspiration is from a story I read some time back...

She felt weak in her knees as she hopped down on to the platform. She didn’t know if it was due to the exhaustion of the tiring journey or due to the biggest step she had ever taken in her life. But either of the reasons didn’t really matter now.

Here she was. All alone, in an entirely unknown city.

She looked left, then to the right. No sign of him. “He must be there somewhere, checking every coach for me.” She thought. She hadn’t had a chance to tell him the coach number.

She saw an empty bench ahead. “I better wait for him here.” She sat there with her bag clutched in her lap.

There was life all around. Families getting off the train with loads of baggage. Porters running along in search of prospective customers. The vendors shouting at the top of their voices while doing brisk business. She tried her best to divert her attention to those little details of people’s lives. But at every next minute, she would involuntarily look around in search of him.

Amidst all the noises, she found her mind recollecting the events of the day..... It was early morning, when her dad had announced that the prospective groom and his family would be arriving in two days. And that's when she had lost it. She had announced her disapproval about the idea in no uncertain terms. And her dad had shouted at her. And she had shouted back at him. For the first time in her life…!

And then she had rushed in to gather her belongings. She couldn’t breathe anymore in that cage. She shoved her things in the bag even as her mom continued to let her have more than just a piece of her mind.

She had decided. She was leaving. She wanted to be with HIM. HE was her life now. She had tried to call him. But couldn’t get through. So she messaged him to let him know that she had left all for him. And that she would be arriving by the evening express.

She got herself an un-reserved ticket with whatever little money she had saved and she boarded the train. She was now free. She was finally going to be with him.

A slight chill in the air shook her back into the present. The sun had almost gone down, letting the darkness take charge of things. But he still wasn’t there…

She felt her throat go dry. She quickly took a couple of gulps from the bottle she had bought. She felt better. But still…

It was almost an hour since she had de-boarded. Why wasn’t he here ? Did he get her message? She took out her mobile phone. She hadn’t even got a chance to recharge the battery before leaving. The screen was blank. She switched it on. It showed some signs of life. Suddenly it blinked twice. “LOW BATTERY.” And it went dead again.

She saw a pay-phone on the side of the coffee shop. She went up to it, dropped in a coin and called his number. “NOT REACHABLE!”

She tried again. And again. And again. But without any luck.

She was now starting to panic. Here she was, all by herself, in a completely new city. She didn’t know a soul. Except him. She didn’t know where to go. And she didn’t even have enough money.

She took out her purse and counted. She hadn’t eaten anything all day. Would that much be sufficient to buy her a meal? If it was, then what after the meal? Or should she skip the meal and buy a ticket back to home?

HOME?? What home?? She had left home for good. There was no one to receive her back. Even if they were, did she have the courage to return? She had argued… shouted… and vowed never to return. Could she face them now?

And suddenly she felt her heart sinking…

She slowly went back to the bench and sat. What were the options for her now? Were there any?

“Why isn’t he here yet? He’d surely have got my message. He always does. Ohhh… Why did I leave? Why didn’t I think? Did I act too hastily?” That was all she could think of. Her heart sinking deeper with each passing second. Her mind was inching closer to the extreme decision. Her eyes brimming with tears.

He smiled as he looked at her from behind the pillar, still trying to catch his breath. Running the length of the long railway platform coupled with the immense anxiety about her had almost left him breathless. And then he slowly moved towards her.

He stood there, quietly, in front of her, while she looked down at the floor, almost numb with hopelessness.


Startled, she looked up. And there he was, smiling at her.

She suddenly felt extreme emotions ready to explode inside her. Nothing could match the sense of relief she felt. But the raging anger felt matchless too. She loved him all the more now. But she also hated him with all she had. She wanted to run into his arms. And she wanted to kill him.

But all she could manage to do was to stand up and say, “Where were you??”

“Sorry. Late as usual. You know I can never get my things ready in quick time…” He replied, still short of breath.

“Things? What’s in that bag? Where are you going?” She was puzzled.

“WE are going back. To your place. I have to ask your dad for you. I don’t want him shouting later that I stole you.” He grinned.

“He won’t let you…”

“Then we’ll run away together. That’s why the bag…” He laughed.

She couldn’t keep herself from folding into his arms. Finally, she let go of the tears as well.

“I’m hungry…” She said.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Thank Thee, O Giver OF Life, O GOD...

Thank Thee, O Giver of Life, O God!
For the force that flames in the winter sod;
For the breath of my nostrils, fiercely good,
The sweet of water, the taste of food,
The sun that silvers the pantry floor,
The step of a neighbor at my door;
For dusk that fondles the window pane,
For the beautiful sound of falling rain.
Thank Thee for love and light and air,
For children’s faces, keenly fair,
For the wonderful joy of perfect rest
When the sun’s wick lowers within the West;
For huddling hills in gowns of snow
Warming themselves in the afterglow;
For Thy mighty wings that are never furled,
Bearing onward the rushing world.
Thank Thee, O Giver of Life, O God!
For Thy glory leaping the lightning rod;
For Thy terrible spaces of love and fire
Where sparks from the forge of Thy desire
Storm through the void in floods of suns,
Far as the heat of Thy Presence runs
And where hurricanes of chanting spheres
Swing to the pulse of the flying years.
Thank Thee for human toil that thrills
With the plan of Thine which man fulfills;
For bridges and tunnels, for ships that soar,
For iron and steel and the furnace roar;
For this anguished vortex of blood and pain
Where sweat and struggle are never vain;
For progress, pushing the teeming earth
On and up to a higher birth.
Thank Thee for life, for life, for life,
O Giver of Life, O God!