Friends.....

The intention of this post is not to condemn people but to encourage them to examine their behavior if they really want to have friends.

People have no friends not because people don't like their faces or they are too quiet; I know people who are quiet and aren't good-looking but others would still include them in their group activities.

People have no friends because of the way they choose to behave.......

1. What's in it for me? We all don't give something for nothing. But some people have the "What's in it for me?" thought at the front of their minds all the time. They don't give anything unless they know that they can get something back immediately. Or they are nasty to everyone but would suddenly turn "nice" when they need something.

As we know, nobody likes being around such people or wants to be friends with them. Friendship usually starts with the question "What can I offer you?" It could just be a smile or holding the door open for someone to start with. It is give and take: giving first before taking.

2. Keeping secrets, being judgmental, gossiping. To build a deep and meaningful relationship with someone, you have to reveal certain private information. I'm not saying you have to reveal everything immediately but withholding certain types of information prevents free and open communication.

If people don't reveal any of their secrets, they will find themselves imprisoned by it. I find that if I share my secrets, my friends would be more willing to share theirs. This brings us closer in understanding and supporting one another. People who won't even tell me what they work as or where they work are big question marks in my mind. Building relationships involves risk.

There's a risk that my friends might use my weakness against me or reveal information about me that I would prefer to keep private. I can't tell everything to everyone. I have to decide the right time and right people. It is often a hit-and-miss. Sadly, there are (judgmental) friends who avoided me after I told them my secrets. But I wouldn't know the outcome till after I've taken the risk.

3. Emocentric and egocentric. Everybody likes to talk about themselves, but emocentric and egocentric people are extreme. They think the world revolves around them. They mock others' achievements and beat people down. What they want are admirers, not friends, to give them attention and boost their ego.

4. Boring mindset. Who wants hang out with someone who says "I'm bored" all the time? But there are people who keep saying that and expect others to want to hang out with them. If I turn my blog into an "I am so bored" blog, nobody's going to return. Actually, you can put #3 and #4 people together and maybe they'll get along just fine.

5. Collecting friends. Collecting Internet friends is the latest craze. Before the Internet was widely used, people collected friends too. People love having friends who "know them" or they love saying that they "know" so-and-so. In my mind, I would ask: You claim to know so-and-so but does he know you? I know some people who have so many friends that they can't even remember their names! How can they call someone their friend if they don't even know their names?! It's ridiculous!

6. Ungratefulness. People with short memories forget what their friends did to help them. Not even a word of thanks.

7. Inability to be happy for someone else. Some people don't have the ability to be happy for
others and celebrate their achievements and life events. A tinge of envy is normal but some people would say something bad or curse others.

8. Unwillingness to invest time and effort. There are people who are always too busy to make time for their friends. If they don't invest time into a relationship, it's unlikely that it would grow.

As the song goes, 'Make new friends but keep the old; one is silver and the other gold'. With their lives, however, it's "one is silver and the other goes".

People just don't bother to show up or make an effort to keep in touch and they say they have no friends. So whose fault is it anyway? Without working on a relationship on a continuous basis friendships are bound to slowly get strangled.

Hope and pray all my friends are in good health, spirit and take me for what I am.

To all my friends: thank you for being here for me and supporting me as always! You all make me feel happy and am less alone in this wonderful world :))